I get to the class and two things happen in quick succession: (1) my mobile pone rings, shame! (the lady beside me actually takes the time to tell me I should really put that on silent!) (2) I discover I have been working off the wrong version of the course outline and formal theory is no longer on the programme (apparently it was not working as a topic, something having attempted the reading I can well appreciate). There are two immediate implications of this: 2 (a) I struggled with that reading when I was really not up for it FOR NOTHING, and 2 (b) I have not a notion what is going on in the class now because I have not done the relevant readings.It could have been the tiredness, or all the other things this week, but for the first time in a long time, I really felt utterly and totally out of my depth. Its been a while, I am not used to it anymore. Normally these days in a work situation, if I am not sure how to handle a something there are likely two possible responses (1) I know enough to spoof it, or (2) nobody else knows what to do either so it does not really matter.
36 hours later and I beginning to think this is a good thing, not a nice thing, but maybe a good one.... you know something to do with comfort zones... challenges... making you stronger... all that stuff I might be able to form in a sentence when there is a bit more distance between me and the described events.
In the meantime I now have two weeks reading to catch up with.
ps. it did shut me up though!
